I'll Never Be Young Again

In London, June-July, 1930, barely 23-year old Daphne du Maurier, dashed off her second novel, I'LL NEVER BE YOUNG AGAIN. Its structure is simple. Its English anti-hero, Richard, tells the story of his own life more or less from birth to some time short of age 30. The book's Table of Contents reads merely: PART I Jake, PART II Hesta. *** Jake prevents a despairing young Richard/Dick from jumping from a bridge into the Thames and offing himself. We learn that Jake is seven years older than Dick and has just completed a prison term for killing in the boxing ring a man who had unthinkingly ruined an innocent young woman. For a year or so Jake takes Dick under his indulgent, healing wing. They ship out together as merchant marine sailors. They tour Norway on foot, on horseback and on a tourist vessel. Before drowning in a sea wreck off the coast of France, Jake makes it clear that he believes Dick will surely at some time get a grip on himself and turn out all right. Jake points out a bird to Dick that seems to sing to itself, "I'll never be young again -- I'll never be young again." *** Be it noted that scores of pages later Dick, now a steady, slowing rising young London banker, hears a bird sing from a tree in his London garden. "At first he is lost, and then he is happy again. Sometimes he is wistful, sometimes he is glad. He seems to be saying: 'I'll never be young again -- I'll never be young again." These are the final words of du Maurier's novel. *** Between the two widely separated bird songs, readers learn that Richard is the only child of England's greatest poet. His mother lives almost entirely for his father. His father is a genius. He ignores his son, considers that he will never amount to much but in the end leaves Richard his entire considerable estate. Richard, after floundering around for months with Jake, settles in Paris and eventually writes a play and a novel in order to eclipse his father's literary glory. In the process he relentlessly, selfishly seduces an innocent English girl devoted to her music. Richard makes it clear to Hesta that he cannot live without virtually unending sex with her. She gives in, moves in with him, gives up her music but wants marriage and children. *** Richard/Dick browbeats Hesta into seeing the world as he sees it: marriage is a trap; they must remain free of entanglements, etc. Maybe she should even consider prostitution! After months of self-indulgence Dick inexplicably and suddenly becomes absorbed by his writing. He then takes Hesta's presence for granted, much as he would a comfortable piece of furniture. Richard then goes off to London for two or three weeks to show his two completed manuscripts to his famous father's publisher, who has known Richard since Richard was a child. Richard says no to Hesta's request to go with him. Hesta warns Dick not to leave her alone. In London, both novel and play are rejected as something "anti-father" that Richard just had to get out of his system as the price of growing up. He is not meant to be a writer. *** Returned to their flat in Paris, Richard finds that Hesta has moved out to live with Julio, a violinist. Once naive and restrained, Hesta now uses lipstick, paints her nails and is determined to live for parties and fun, one man after another, as Richard has taught her to want to do. Richard is both stunned and relieved. He mulls over traveling the world to solace himself. *** Richard is, however, unexpectedly summoned by telegram back to London by news of his father's death. He then accepts the publisher's advice to enter a dull but socially useful carer and also the latter's recommendation of a good club to join for meals and helpful personal contacts. At novel's end narrator Richard claims: "I am happier now than I have ever been. The restlessness has gone ... There is peace and contentment." ***COMMENT: Persistently self-absorbed, whining, rootless, unattractive Richard accepts the publisher's assessment: "Your father sits alone, Richard, a genius ... caring for nothing and no one, while you live and love, and hurt yourself and are miserable, and are happy, and you aren't a genius, Richard, you are only an ordinary man" (Part II, Ch. VIII). Anti-hero is the right word for Richard. He ruins a good girl, a vile thing for doing which his savior Jake had killed another man. Richard has no religion, lives only for himself on the basis of the feeblest of insights and conscience, aspires to nothing morally good. He reacts. Richard does not mould himself into anything admirable. -OOO-