Skip to content

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) Trade paper - 2008

by Tavris, Carol; Elliot Aronson


Summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?

Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception—how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

From the publisher

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell?Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, "Mistakes Were Made (But Not by" Me")" offers a fascinating explanation of self-deceptionhow it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it."

Details

  • Title Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
  • Author Tavris, Carol; Elliot Aronson
  • Binding Trade Paper
  • Edition [ Edition: Repri
  • Pages 304
  • Language EN
  • Publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Wilmington, Massachusetts, U.S.A.
  • Date 2008-05-05
  • ISBN 9780156033909

Excerpt

CHAPTER 1
 
Cognitive Dissonance:
The Engine of Self-justification

 
Press release date: November 1, 1993
 
           we didn’t make a mistake when we wrote in our previous releases that New York would be destroyed on September 4 and October 14, 1993. We didn’t make a mistake, not even a teeny eeny one!
 
Press release date: April 4, 1994
 
           All the dates we have given in our past releases are correct dates given by God as contained in Holy Scriptures. Not one of these dates was wrong . . . Ezekiel gives a total of 430 days for the siege of the city . . . [which] brings us exactly to May 2, 1994. By now, all the people have been forewarned. We have done our job. . . .
 
           We are the only ones in the entire world guiding the people to their safety, security, and salvation!
 
           We have a 100 percent track record!1
 
 It’s fascinating, and sometimes funny, to read doomsday predictions, but it’s even more fascinating to watch what happens to the reasoning of true believers when the prediction flops and the world keeps muddling along. Notice that hardly anyone ever says, “I blew it! I can’t believe how stupid I was to believe that nonsense”? On the contrary, most of the time they become even more deeply convinced of their powers of prediction. The people who believe that the Bible’s book of Revelation or the writings of the sixteenth-century self-proclaimed prophet Nostradamus have predicted every disaster from the bubonic plague to 9/11 cling to their convictions, unfazed by the small problem that their vague and murky predictions were intelligible only after the event occurred.
 
           Half a century ago, a young social psychologist named Leon Festinger and two associates infiltrated a group of people who believed the world would end on December 21.2 They wanted to know what would happen to the group when (they hoped!) the prophecy failed. The group’s leader, whom the researchers called Marian Keech, promised that the faithful would be picked up by a flying saucer and elevated to safety at midnight on December 20. Many of her followers quit their jobs, gave away their homes, and dispersed their savings, waiting for the end. Who needs money in outer space? Others waited in fear or resignation in their homes. (Mrs. Keech’s own husband, a nonbeliever, went to bed early and slept soundly through the night as his wife and her followers prayed in the living room.) Festinger made his own prediction: The believers who had not made a strong commitment to the prophecy—who awaited the end of the world by themselves at home, hoping they weren’t going to die at midnight—would quietly lose their faith in Mrs. Keech. But those who had given away their possessions and were waiting with the others for the spaceship would increase their belief in her mystical abilities. In fact, they would now do everything they could to get others to join them.
 
           At midnight, with no sign of a spaceship in the yard, the group felt a little nervous. By 2 a.m., they were getting seriously worried. At 4:45 a.m., Mrs. Keech had a new vision: The world had been spared, she said, because of the impressive faith of her little band. “And mighty is the word of God,” she told her followers, “and by his word have ye been saved—for from the mouth of death have ye been delivered and at no time has there been such a force loosed upon the Earth. Not since the beginning of time upon this Earth has there been such a force of Good and light as now floods this room.”
 
           The group’s mood shifted from despair to exhilaration. Many of the group’s members, who had not felt the need to proselytize before December 21, began calling the press to report the miracle, and soon they were out on the streets, buttonholing passersby, trying to convert them. Mrs. Keech’s prediction had failed, but not Leon Festinger’s.
 
°°°
 
The engine that drives self-justification, the energy that produces the need to justify our actions and decisions—especially the wrong ones—is an unpleasant feeling that Festinger called “cognitive dissonance.” Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs whenever a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent, such as “Smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me” and “I smoke two packs a day.” Dissonance produces mental discomfort, ranging from minor pangs to deep anguish; people don’t rest easy until they find a way to reduce it. In this example, the most direct way for a smoker to reduce dissonance is by quitting. But if she has tried to quit and failed, now she must reduce dissonance by convincing herself that smoking isn’t really so harmful, or that smoking is worth the risk because it helps her relax or prevents her from gaining weight (and after all, obesity is a health risk, too), and so on. Most smokers manage to reduce dissonance in many such ingenious, if self-deluding, ways.
 
           Dissonance is disquieting because to hold two ideas that contradict each other is to flirt with absurdity and, as Albert Camus observed, we humans are creatures who spend our lives trying to convince ourselves that our existence is not absurd. At the heart of it, Festinger’s theory is about how people strive to make sense out of contradictory ideas and lead lives that are, at least in their own minds, consistent and meaningful. The theory inspired more than 3,000 experiments that, taken together, have transformed psychologists’ understanding of how the human mind works. Cognitive dissonance has even escaped academia and entered popular culture. The term is everywhere. The two of us have heard it in TV newscasts, political columns, magazine articles, bumper stickers, even on a soap opera. Alex Trebek used it on Jeopardy, Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, and President Bartlet on The West Wing. Although the expression has been thrown around a lot, few people fully understand its meaning or appreciate its enormous motivational power.
 
           In 1956, one of us (Elliot) arrived at Stanford University as a graduate student in psychology. Festinger had arrived that same year as a young professor, and they immediately began working together, designing experiments to test and expand dissonance theory.3 Their thinking challenged many notions that were gospel in psychology and among the general public, such as the behaviorist’s view that people do things primarily for the rewards they bring, the economist’s view that human beings generally make rational decisions, and the psychoanalyst’s view that acting aggressively gets rid of aggressive impulses.
 
           Consider how dissonance theory challenged behaviorism. At the time, most scientific psychologists were convinced that people’s actions are governed by reward and punishment. It is certainly true that if you feed a rat at the end of a maze, he will learn the maze faster than if you don’t feed him; if you give your dog a biscuit when she gives you her paw, she will learn that trick faster than if you sit around hoping she will do it on her own. Conversely, if you punish your pup when you catch her peeing on the carpet, she will soon stop doing it. Behaviorists further argued that anything that was merely associated with reward would become more attractive—your puppy will like you because you give her biscuits—and anything associated with pain would become noxious and undesirable.
 
           Behavioral laws do apply to human beings, too, of course; no one would stay in a boring job without pay, and if you give your toddler a cookie to stop him from having a tantrum, you have taught him to have another tantrum when he wants a cookie. But, for better or worse, the human mind is more complex than the brain of a rat or a puppy. A dog may appear contrite for having been caught peeing on the carpet, but she will not try to think up justifications for her misbehavior. Humans think; and because we think, dissonance theory demonstrated that our behavior transcends the effects of rewards and punishments and often contradicts them.
 
           For example, Elliot predicted that if people go through a great deal of pain, discomfort, effort, or embarrassment to get something, they will be happier with that “something” than if it came to them easily. For behaviorists, this was a preposterous prediction. Why would people like anything associated with pain? But for Elliot, the answer was obvious: self-justification. The cognition that I am a sensible, competent person is dissonant with the cognition that I went through a painful procedure to achieve something—say, joining a group that turned out to be boring and worthless. Therefore, I would distort my perceptions of the group in a positive direction, trying to find good things about them and ignoring the downside.
Copyright © 2007 by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson
 
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
 
Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work should be submitted online at www.harcourt.com/contact or mailed to the following address: Permissions Department, Harcourt, Inc., 6277 Sea Harbor Drive, Orlando, Florida 32887-6777.

Media reviews

PRAISE FOR MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY ME)

 

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer."—Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying."—The Wall Street Journal

About the author

CAROL TAVRIS is a social psychologist and author of "Anger" and "The Mismeasure of Woman." She has written for the "Los Angeles Times, " the "New York Times, Scientific American, "and many other publications. She lives in Los Angeles.ELLIOT ARONSON is a social psychologist and author of "The Social Animal." The recipient of many awards for teaching, scientific research, writing, and contributions to society, he is a professor emeritus at the University of California, Santa Cruz.
Back to Top

More Copies for Sale

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Tavris PhD, Carol

  • Used
Condition
UsedGood
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£1.51
£2.43 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
UsedGood. Cover/Case has some rubbing and edgewear. Access codes, CD's, slipcovers and other accessories may not be included.
Item Price
£1.51
£2.43 shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Tavris PhD, Carol

  • Used
Condition
UsedGood
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Annandale, New Jersey, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£2.43
£3.24 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
UsedGood. Fast shipping and order satisfaction guaranteed. A portion of your purchase benefits Non-Profit Organizations, First Aid and Fire Stations!
Item Price
£2.43
£3.24 shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Tavris PhD, Carol; Aronson, University Emeritus Elliot

  • Used
  • Acceptable
Condition
Used - Acceptable
Edition
Reprint
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£4.37
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Harvest Books. Reprint. Acceptable. Acceptable. Heavy wear. Ship within 24hrs. Satisfaction 100% guaranteed. APO/FPO addresses supported
Item Price
£4.37
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Elliot Aronson; Carol Tavris

  • Used
  • good
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Good
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
4
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2008. Paperback. Good. Disclaimer:Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Carol Tavris; Elliot Aronson

  • Used
  • very good
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Very Good
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
3
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2008. Paperback. Very Good. Disclaimer:A copy that has been read, but remains in excellent condition. Pages are intact and are not marred by notes or highlighting, but may contain a neat previous owner name. The spine remains undamaged. At ThriftBooks, our motto is: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Carol Tavris; Elliot Aronson

  • Used
  • as new
  • Paperback
Condition
As New
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
2
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2008. Paperback. As New. Disclaimer:An apparently unread copy in perfect condition. Dust cover is intact; pages are clean and are not marred by notes or folds of any kind. At ThriftBooks, our motto is: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Carol Tavris; Elliot Aronson

  • Used
  • Acceptable
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Acceptable
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
17
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2008. Paperback. Acceptable. Disclaimer:A readable copy. All pages are intact, and the cover is intact. Pages can include considerable notes-in pen or highlighter-but the notes cannot obscure the text. At ThriftBooks, our motto is: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Elliot Aronson; Carol Tavris

  • Used
  • Acceptable
  • Paperback
Condition
Used - Acceptable
Binding
Paperback
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2008. Paperback. Acceptable. Disclaimer:A readable copy. All pages are intact, and the cover is intact. Pages can include considerable notes-in pen or highlighter-but the notes cannot obscure the text. An ex-library book and may have standard library stamps and/or stickers. At ThriftBooks, our motto is: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
£4.86
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Aronson, Elliot, Tavris, Carol

  • Used
Condition
Used - Good
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Mishawaka, Indiana, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£6.15
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Used - Good. Former library book; may include library markings. Used book that is in clean, average condition without any missing pages.
Item Price
£6.15
FREE shipping to USA
Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me) : Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Aronson, Elliot, Tavris, Carol

  • Used
Condition
Used - Good
ISBN 13
9780156033909
ISBN 10
0156033909
Quantity Available
3
Seller
Reno, Nevada, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
£6.15
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Used - Good. Used book that is in clean, average condition without any missing pages.
Item Price
£6.15
FREE shipping to USA